Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Bitterness

It is natural to feel resentment or anger when life does not unfold as expected. We consciously or unconsciously anticipated one experience, and we grieve for the loss of it when the universe puts something else in our path. Most of the time, we work through these feelings and they pass. Occasionally, our anger and resentment do not fade and are instead transformed into bitterness. Bitter feelings allow us to become perfect victims in that we no longer feel obliged to work toward healing and choose instead to identify with our pain. Yet as unwholesome as bitterness can be, it is also a natural element of our emotional palette. When we acknowledge that it is okay to feel bitter, we reconnect with our hurt in a constructive way and can begin the process of working through it.

The nature of bitterness is rooted in the fact that the pain we feel provides us with a rationale. We may feel that we deserve to embrace our bitterness to its full extent. And to be bitter is, in essence, to cut ourselves off from all that is positive, hardening our hearts and vowing never to let go of our hurt. But just as bitter feelings can be self-defeating, so too can the release of bitterness be life-affirming in a way that few other emotional experiences are. When we decide that we no longer want to be bitter, we are reborn into a world filled with delight and fulfillment unlike any we knew while in the clutches of bitterness. The veil it cast over our lives is lifted, letting light and warmth touch our souls.

Divesting yourself of bitter feelings can be as simple as truly forgiving and moving on. Even when your bitterness has no concrete object, you can forgive situations too. Healing pain can be challenging but may be easier if you remind yourself that you are the only entity truly affected by your emotional state. In time, you will discover that letting go of your bitterness frees you to initiate the healing process and allows you to once again celebrate the possibility of the more wonderful life you deserve. - Daily OM

Monday, June 21, 2010

Peace of Mind

Once Buddha was travelling with some disciples, when they happened to pass a lake. They decided to stop and rest awhile. One of his most restless disciples decided to avail of this opportunity to ask his master to explain how he could manage his mind. Buddha ignored his question and said to him, "I am thirsty. Please get me some water from that lake there." 
As the disciple approached the lake, a bullock cart started crossing through it. and the water became muddy and turbid. Buddha's disciple thought, "How can I take this dirty water to my master to drink!" He returned and said, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."
After half an hour, Buddha asked his disciple to go again, but the water was still too muddy and the disciple returned empty handed.

On the third attempt the disciple found that the mud had settled down and the water was sparkling clean. So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to the Buddha. 
The Buddha looked at the disciple and said, “Do you see what you did to make the water clean? You let it be.... and the mud settled down on its own - and you got clear water.
Your mind is also like that!
When it is disturbed, just let it be.
Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own.
You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down.
It will happen. It is effortless." 
What did Buddha emphasize here?
He said, "It is effortless."

Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job;
it is an effortless process!

So let us keep smiling not because of something, but in spite of everything!! 

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Burdensome Feelings

Blaming sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward and puts resolution in the hands of others.

As we begin to truly understand that the world outside of us is a reflection of the world inside of us, we may feel confused about who is to blame for the problems in our lives. If we had a difficult childhood, we may wonder how we can take responsibility for that, and in our current relationships, the same question arises. We all know that blaming others is the opposite of taking responsibility, but we may not understand how to take responsibility for things that we don’t truly feel responsible for. We may blame our parents for our low self-esteem, and we may blame our current partner for exacerbating it with their unconscious behavior. Objectively, this seems to make sense. After all, it is not our fault if our parents were irresponsible or unkind, and we are not to blame for our partner’s bad behavior.

Perhaps the problem lies with the activity of blaming. Whether we blame others or blame ourselves, there is something aggressive and unkind about it. It sets up a situation in which it becomes difficult to move forward under the burdensome feelings of shame and guilt that arise. It also puts the resolution of our pain in the hands of someone other than us. Ultimately, we cannot insist that someone else take responsibility for their actions; only they can make that choice when they are ready. In the meantime, if we want to move forward with our lives instead of waiting around for something that may or may not happen, we begin to see the wisdom of taking the situation into our own hands.

We do this by forgiving our parents, even if they have not asked for our forgiveness, so that we can be free. We end the abusive relationship with our partner, who may never admit to any wrongdoing, because we are willing to take responsibility for how we are treated. In short, we love ourselves as we want to be loved and create the life we know we deserve. We leave the resolution of the wrongs committed against us in the hands of the universe, releasing ourselves to live a life free of blame. - Taken from Daily Om